i feel like photographs

could better help explain how I feel:























Yes, change is a good thing.

counting down the seconds

until you are here in my life
wrapped up in my arms,
swaying to the music of our hearts beating
hear it through our chests.
Keep my panties down, my mouth open,
my hands deep inside your thought process.

Hide inside this shiny shell,
deep in the creases molded by the sea,
keep me safe somewhere hiding in pink flesh
so easily torn apart by teeth
if not protect by this armor beauty,
this hardened skin.
Colors blending into rocks and sand.
I am unseen.
Safe.
A part of the scenery.
This ocean blue that cradles me.

so just about now

seems like a good time.

thought processes

I catch your dreams in butterfly nets
create oceans for you with my tears
hold the mountains together when they want to fall upon you
sink in the mudslide to save you from its dirty memories
baby, you don't even realize how deep
how vast and fathomless this feeling is.
The universe is yours just ask for it.
Tell me what you want and you will have it.
Tell me what you need, anything at your disposal
the earth, the sky, the seas
I will manipulate time to run slow when I am with you
take the sun and hold it in position
so that you could embrace me and catch the clouds for me,
takes more time than we have



steal this heart from me please
grip it from my being
i want to feel its bloody roots leave me
disabling to breathe.
Bring the numb into my head,
just smoke and control the feelings,
push them down into this deep space of woe
;this giant loving heart.
Hold those memories inside
that dying heart you ripped apart.
Do me the favor and make it blue,
crack it in half,
swallow all of my memories
deep agonizing sorrow.
My violence bleeding red, sloppy messes on the dirty floor.
So many years of messy living,
so many hearts already destroyed.
My heart, dismembered for comfort,
I am a heartless fool at least I'm numb without it ,
stop it's painful yesterdays.
That heart so huge,
shattered into a million pieces never again to be revived,
or pieced back together.
Too many pieces have been lost now.
I'm sorry for leaving but my heart lost all the feelings,
broken-glass mess on the floor.`

i know your stories

Bold, aware,
a jewel that in my eyez that glows and sparkles
I can't seem to reflect her beauty in photography
she is more beautiful than technology can capture.
I watch her eyez tell me bittersweet truths,
butterscotch nothings.
Her lips are fruit
melting in sugarjuice
I lunge at her mouth
devour her scent, her tongue slick,
kissing until the world fades away
my words that press against my teeth
escape into her neck.
Her hands are bold
Her touch is aware
I can feel it everywhere
through the air
I watch her chest rise and fall
a rhythm i control,
her heart that i hold in my palms
those shameful confessions that spill onto the floor,
harmful memories that have been stored
inside this whole time
i carry them for her,
raid the closets for the skeletons,
and they are familiar
like blood is, like genetics
the stories have been laid out,
millions of pages to read.
I know them all already.

Rose in concrete

My foundation is not solid
i've grown crooked through the cracks of cement
trying to reach for light
outside of this concrete jungle of hard lies and tough love.
The weeds from this suffocating life underneath the rock.
I take my vines towards the sun,
blooming inspirations of you.
The red petals that make up my face.
The center of my being.
Sweet honeydew.
The heart of the universe.
The beginning of life.
I'm the eternal truth
buried in the grounds
search for me in the roots.