Hello new life

Who will I be today?






Perfect.

reaching reaching reaching hoping and dreaming
everything in a cycle a circle that lives inside you
inside me. Everything emotional and holy
through the wisdom of this times before us.
we hold tender limbs in the balance
we hold womanly bodies closest for comfort.
always on tiptoes reaching for the constellations
the stars and the planet
Every part of the universe having significance.

Today,

Last night I put a blonde short wig on,
painted my face in gold, wore a silk long dress
and called myself a fairy.

Today, I read about racial formation in society- the macro and the micro just for fun. Then read about a blind man who gives insight to an ignorant man for class. And now I reading this and getting distracted by Thomas. lol He's playing Resident Evil X360 hahaha!


"Dark. Darker than I thought it would be...Pocket them and I'm a theif forever." Stories.



Short stories: are nothing more than these tales told by men and women who have studied the art of telling, refined it through long practice, and adapted it to the demansa of a sophisticated reading--as opposed to listening--audience.

Point of view: The same event will sound different when reported by diferent people.

Narrator: The person who "tells" a story

first-person narrator: the narrator is a character in the story, we are usually aware of the point of view. The narrator has witnessed the events from his/her perspective. Uses "I" or "We"

first-person observer: The story is told from periphery of the action.

first-person participant: the narrator is in the midst of the action.

Third-person narrator: POV is less obvious when the narrator is not a character at all.

Central consciousness: The perceptions of the events given voice by the narrator are the perceptions of the character.

Steam of consciousness: the flux of thoughts--many of them preverbal--that run through our minds when we are awake.

interior monologue: Using the technique, stream of consciousness, approximates the thoughts of a character.

Sympathetic characters: Characters who appeal to us and have our good wishes.

Plot: a linked chain of events.

Flashbacks: pretty self explanitory

Equilibrium: the protagonist's life is in a state of relative order and calm.

Complication: Some event happened to cause a conlict in the story.

Conflict: a struggle between the protagonist and some other person (the antagonist) or force.

rising action: raises the tension in the conlist to a breaking point.

climax: the point in a story where the conflict is decided (who wins)

resolution or denouement: a new situation of the equilibrium that is established.

Setting: the location of the characters. Where their lives take place.

atmosphere/mood: description of the setting

projection: the setting prejects the emotions of the character.

universal symbols: In many different cultures

conventional symbols: not universal, it is a conventional contrived by a particular pplation of people.

allegroy: special use of a symbol

motif: an image, object, character, situation, theme and even a word that the writer uses repeatedly throughout a work.

theme: what the story is about

sharing is caring

Just thought I would share my $53,000 education with you.
Click the links below. Those are my ethnic studies readings.

BOOYAH!!



♥ http://books.google.com/books?id=AZ6jC-T4wJ4C&pg=PA157&lpg=PA157&dq=ethnic+studies+%22its+evolution+in+american+colleges+and+universities%22&source=bl&ots=wXQb45rA6P&sig=yMtspEUIdxb09LlBMdFngdk9mNc&hl=en&ei=T0R3TIfVDoGesQPTyaGgDQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CBYQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=ethnic%20studies%20%22its%20evolution%20in%20american%20colleges%20and%20universities%22&f=false

♥ http://books.google.com/books?id=iFI1Dlq9W1EC&pg=PA65&dq=race+and+ethnicity+in+academia:+Latinos+in+Higher+education&hl=en&ei=K0V3TNPkLojmsQP-mZ2hDQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CDEQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=race%20and%20ethnicity%20in%20academia%3A%20Latinos%20in%20Higher%20education&f=false

♥ http://books.google.com/books?id=AZ6jC-T4wJ4C&pg=PA168&dq=diminishing+returns:+can+black+feminism(s)+survive+the+academy%3F&hl=en&ei=hEV3TIivEor6sAPXo7WgDQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CCUQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=diminishing%20returns%3A%20can%20black%20feminism(s)%20survive%20the%20academy%3F&f=false



Enjoy feeding your brains!

It took so long and so much to get here but today it is official

I have everything that I need.

I think I laugh
sometimes I dedicate parts of my days to you.
Cuz those were the days back in the days.
We were babies.

Life is good

I start school on Wednesday and this is my next project.

Life is good.

Bumble bee

Meli, please put aside your scorpio pride,
leave your stinger behind.



I miss you.
I get mixed feelings like I'm getting carved out from the inside. My heart beats against my ribs painfully in bitterness and forgiveness. Everyday I forgive you a little more and then I wonder whether you forgive me at all that day. I made a sand castle for you like the ones we used to make together before all of this. As much as you are to blame I'm still chasing after you because little sister, you are in my blood. And no matter how long I close my eyez I know you stand there existing. And I miss you. Just talk to me. Please.

wonderland, here I come.

Finally, a place to call my own.


P.S. Ariel, I LOVE YOU!

I'm trying not to complain

"See if you can catch yourself complaining in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness."



-Eckhart Tolle

Greyhound

This is what I really would like to write to Greyhound.

Greyhound,

Seriously? You can’t get a functional bus on the fucking road? You can’t get your employee’s to do their jobs? You know the simple and basic maintenance on a bus that takes 50-something people across the country. You know basic maintenance, oh like say, the fucking engine? Cleaning up the fucking bathroom? The floors? Checking the goddamn tires?

Oh I’m sorry you’re too busy counting the cash I sent you to get me to my destination on time. It should have taken me 3 days MAX(Techinally 2 ½ days according to my ticket!!!) YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT COMPANY. I’m on day 5 now. I’ve spent every last penny on fucking food to keep myself and my girlfriend alive. I’ve had a pounding headache for the past 5 days and been running on 1-3 hours sleep for these 5 days. On top of dealing with fucked up bum ass people who openly talk about their drug use in front of children. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS???

People keep saying Friday the 13th like it’s some goddamn misfortune the universe bestowed upon all of us at Greyhound. No, that’s idiocy. That’s superstition. What it is is irresponsibility on behalf of GREYHOUND. These buses are old and unreliable. What the fuck are you doing with everyone’s money? Because you’re not using it to buy a new functional and clean bus.

Honestly, my first Greyhound experience has been shit and you’ve made this trip into a fucking nightmare. I’m happy to say I am currently on the way to my destination, fucking finally. I will be telling everyone I know that Greyhound can kiss my ass via Twitter, Youtube, Facebook, Myspace, Downelink and every other social network I am a part of. I’m not just one fucking person. I’m at least 3,000. And I WILL TELL EVERYONE about this experience.

FUCK YOU!!!

Sincerely,
Libre



The real letter

Dear Greyhound,
I am writing to inform you of my first Greyhound experience and inquire about getting reimbursed.

My trip started out Tuesday August 9, 2010 at 1:45am in Boston Massachusetts. The bus I was put on was dirty; the seats, the floors and the bathroom. My partner and I arrived at New York City and were told to get off so that the bus could be cleaned. When we got back onto the bus about 30-45mins afterward, we sat in the same mess. The bathroom, floor or seats had not been cleaned. We also had a garbage bag tied to the backseat near us fill up to the top from Boston to Harrisburg, PA without being taken out.

We switched buses again in Columbus and again, the buses were in terrible condition. The windows fogged up because of the air conditioning creating condensation and dripped water on various passengers.

At St. Louis, my partner and I switched buses again onto ANOTHER dirty bus, luckily with a clean bathroom. However, the bus overheated therefore causing the bus driver to slow down drastically the entire way to Denver. Our bus driver had informed the passengers that the connections to other buses would wait, however when we arrived in Denver, the bus towards San Francisco had left us behind. At least 35 passengers were left at the Denver terminal at 12:20am. The employees in Denver told us the bus had been “lost” and then finally managed to get us another bus and driver at 4am.

We left and arrived in Salt Lake City at 2:20pm on Thursday, August 12, 2010. Our connecting bus going towards Reno, Sacramento and San Francisco had left. The only bus would be leaving at 12:50am. I spent the entire day at the Salt Lake City terminal watching over my bags because various homeless people hung around the bus terminal. Apparently, I later learned that the Greyhound station was placed near various homeless shelters and the lower income area of Salt Lake City.

Then we finally get on the bus 1am August 13, 2010 Friday., I shared the bus Francisco with various junkies who openly talked about their drug use (crystal meth) and had loud conversations with other passengers at 3-4am about their jail time. I was literally woken up by the volume of their conversations multiple times through out the night. Early on in the day, we stop somewhere about an hour away from Reno, NV because 5 hubcaps on one of the tires had broken off. We stayed at a gas station 4 hours.

On top of all of these misfortunes, my partner and I have spent money to feed ourselves in overpriced road stops. We starved ourselves for 2 days to be able to afford food for the rest of the trip. In total we spent $150 on food, $234 on the tickets, about 24 hours laid over in various locations, and 5 days to arrive at my destination.

My experience with Greyhound will NOT be forgotten. I will be blogging, vlogging and talking my experience with Greyhound to everyone that I know and on every social network I am a part of. I demand that ALL of my money be refunded including food purchases. I will NOT be accepting any free Greyhound tickets as a way of reimbursement. Thank you for your time, you will be hearing from me and my partner continuously until my demands are met.

Sincerely,
Rose Arellano

Laws that govern the universe

A story about a girl who lives in her head. Everything that is in this reality is made up in her imagination.



I know there is a higher place out there. I believe in the logical and God. I believe in science completely. Everything needs to be proven by true facts. Laws that govern the basic universe. What goes up must come down. Every action makes an equal and opposite reaction.

I remember when I first took Chemistry and Physics classes and began to grasp the concepts of molecules, the numbers that made up gravity; it was all noticeable in the world. I could see it in front of my eyes. It was like a strange vial was uncovered from my eyez. A piece of the puzzle revealed. The world was the same, of course but somehow it was different, part of something bigger.

As I grew up I learned about the possibilities of alternative universes and the concept of time and common mental disorders. Everyone’s reality is perceived different. Either because of how they grew up (naïve people ignore certain triggers to think of certain things- example for some the word blow or snow for coke wouldn’t be looked over), how their parents raised you to think, your faith, your religious views, where you grew up etc etc. Reality is shifted to fit your eyez and your mind’s perception because of all of these factors about you and your view of reality.

So with all this knowledge and facts (about how each particle makes up a molecule and that everything around you is molecules going according to the laws that govern the universe), I believe there is something higher than us. We are all part of a puzzle that is alive, constantly shifting and gaining consciousness. I believe we are everything as is everything to us. It is our cosmic consciousness. We are one, a part of something higher than us.

Sometimes I feel connected to it and sometimes I feel so far away from it. Like I’m shut down spiritually. I don’t feel connected to the bees or the trees outside. Kind of like tunnel vision but then when I do guided meditations, practice astral projection, or get high I begin to feel that connection. Like I’m getting secrets about the universe into words or speech.

Maybe it has something to do with growing up in cities and big towns. Always cement and glass buildings, metal and advertisements. Nature isn’t around to be admired. Nature is in the way of this NEW Starbucks.

Sometimes I envy those who grew up in the country. It is a different way of life and seeing the world, feeling connected to it. You grow your food from it, you live your life in it everyday; you and the earth. I wonder if we could turn this reality around into another society. I wonder if enough people had a higher or more aware consciousness if we could change.


Spiritual Awakening the story about the man who went on a spiritual journey through the wildness to look at different religious and there concept of spirituality. The man is stuck between the flesh and the spirit. There is another universe of the mind/the spirit that hasn’t been awakened to everyone. Everyone searches for it whether it be through religion or science. Another reality other than this one beyond this life.

Questions:
♥would the technology we have today spoil tomorrow’s society?
♥What we could change in society about how people see each other in relation to everything else?
♥Become an agriculture society again?
♥Would technology be the easy and lazy way to stay in the flesh instead of exploring the spirit?
♥Have we evolved so much to be able to communicate other ways?
♥Mind to mind?


♥Is it possible to reach out through spirit?



Once I conquered all my fears then I will able to reach out. I need to go to a speech class. I need to go to a speech class. The fear of stage presence is overwhelming. I need to be more social. And I say this as I’m in a room by myself high. Why? To think on one thought at a time instead of literally a billion all at once. I’ve noticed that I’m so distracted by everything, it’s like constantly switching the channel of my focus.

for example


You are my everyday, all day.
My every which way.
Every 24 hours in your gaze
7 days out of the week I kiss you sweet lullabies to sleep.


and now back to your program

I feel more ocd lately, the need for everything around me to be clean or else I would feel dirty. I feel like I am going deaf, I don’t hear people sometimes when they are right in front of me. I need to learn how to listen better.

I have the best of intentions for the world for everyone else, but myself. It’s easy to fall apart and sometimes it is the most familiar place to stay and reflect. Meditate on the subject. I do want to never have to fall apart but I feel like feelings are a part of our experience here and I like the fact that I feel every emotion as intensely as I do. Some people don’t feel much of anything.




Hands down, the light reflects off your skin in gold

It can’t be up to me. Tainted heart lover.
I don't know anything.









I’m going to keep reading. I need to stay reading. All the time, as much as I can. Go to Barnes & Noble and ask for a job.

Reading List

1. The anxiety of influence by Harold Bloom
2. Electronic Civil Disobedience and other unpopular ideas. By critical art ensemble
3. Flesh Machine; cyborgs, designer babies, eugenic consciousness
4. undoing gender by Judith Butler
5. sexing the body:gender politics and the construction of sexuality by Anne Fausto-Sterling
6. Gender Outlaw: On Men, women and the rest of us by Kate Bornstein
7. The nearest exit may be behind you by S. Bear Bergman
8. the ethical slut
9. butch is a noun by. S. bear bergman
10. Going natural: How to fall in love with nappy hair
11. Hair Story
12. Violin for Dummies
13. Narcisa: Our Lady of Ashes
14. Out of the Past:Gay and Lesbian history from 1869-present by Neil Miller
15. Living in Spanglish by Ed Morales
16. The Latina’s Bible by Sandra Guzman
17. Transgender Voices by Lori B. Girshick
18. The Heart of Whiteness by Robert Jensen
19. Getting Unstuck by Pema Chodron
20. Don’t Bite the Hook by Pema Chodron
21. Communicion: Women’s Search for Love by bell hooks
22. The Motleyfool Milli Money Portfolio by David Gardner, Thomas Gardener
23. The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians by Rachel Pepper
24. Goddesses who rule
25. 7 myths about of Spanish Conquest by Matt Restall
26. Undead tv by Elanna Levine
27. The History of Sexuality by Michel Foucault
28. Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire
29. The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton
30. Gender Trouble by Judith Butler
31. Governing Through Crime by Jonathon Simon
32. The Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh
33. Aint I A Woman by bell hooks
34. Fixing Sex by Katrina Karkazis
35. Body Outlaws by Ophira Edut
36. The Nature of Difference by Hammonds & Herzig
37. The Sexual Politics of Disability by Gillespie-Sells
38. Engaged Pedagogy by bell hooks
39. In Love & In Danger by Barry Levy
40. The Ones Who Got Away by Ginny Nicarty
41. The Ethics of Belief by W.K. Clifford
42. The End of Faith by Sam Harris
43. Powers of Desire by Ann Snitow
44. The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles by Julie Andrews

Santa Cruz now

overcast;
there's a chill in the air
and the dolphins and seals are washing up on shore dead.
But the air feels like hope
and the water looks like life.
And the beach is singing with your love.

Hold me now before I blow away.

Dear Universe,

I know life isn't perfect. Life can never be perfect even when you get everything you've ever wanted you don't get it exactly how you imagined it. You don't get to go to school in the way you wanted to go to school. Or even get to chose the classes you learn about when you finally do get into school. Or with a partner, you may get someone amazing and talented and good to you but SOMETHING will be off about them that you both have to compromise and adapt to. Or with a house, you may have a beautiful place to stay at a decent price but you still can't afford it cuz you don't have a job yet. You may have a job but maybe not something you want to do everyday. You may have an occupation that you make great pay but you hate doing it everyday all day every week for months and years. Life isn't perfect, there's always something that keeps us wanting something else and that something always changes. The grass is always greener, but what does it take to love this life. this one right now What does it take to accept the mess and roll around in it cuz it's yours. And laugh because it is.

Tell me.

Okay so a few things I need to address

KIMMY KIM KIM, I MISS YOU!!!!!


Other thoughts in my head
I'm sad to be leaving the East Coast today. Boston. Good crazy awesome Boston.
The East Coast that has taken me in and nursed me back to health. The East Coast that has prepared me enough to go back to California with my head up and my chest puffed out. My heart is whole, I think, for the most part. And I think life will be good now. I think I've built myself up enough to be okay going back home. I'm so excited for life in California. I've got to build a beautiful home with a wonderful partner and an amazing friend. I've got an education to thrive in. I've got a future to start walking towards. Life couldn't get any better. It's not perfect but I guess that's the point right? Who wants a perfect life anyways....that would be so boring.

Get ready to run

I want to wrap great arms around you to keep you safe
a big whole reg heart that burns
and then show you where to go, how to love
the way whole people do.
But all I can give you are the tools
to stand up and walk with your head high.

Step One.
Save some money. Look for a place.

Step two.
Run away to Vermont with your children.

Step three.
Find a job.

Step four.
Live happy.

I promise I'll get you out.

Fundraiser for my tuition!

i don't have enough money to attend school even after EVERYTHING that I've done to try and afford it.

It's time to bring the community together. I'm not exactly sure exactly what I'ma do but I guess we're gonna have to see.
A dance party? A blog tv thingy? Who knows....I sure dont....not yet anyways...

Bi Weekly Challenge!!

Bathroom- each bathroom is worth 1 pt
-toilets, sinks, shower/tub, windows, floor

Floor- each floor in a room is worth 1 pt
-swept and mopped

windows- each room is worth 1 pt

Basement- is worth 2 pts (you can have up to 2 people; both will receive 2 pts each )
-floor swept and mopped, tables cleared, organized desks, tables etc

veggie garden- is worth 2 pts (you can have up to 2 people; both will receive 2 pts each)
-

trash- every room with a trash bin is worth 1 pt
-taken out to the trash and also put a new bag.

Wash the dog- worth 3 pts (you cab have up to 2 people; both will receive 3 pts each)


RULES!!!
#1 Only Harriet can award points
#2 Harriet MUST approve of the chore completed.

To receive your prize you must have completed one or more of these special tasks

Special Tasks

♥Driveway
♥Painting house
♥clean barn
♥clean garage

The winner will be announced at the end of every two weeks and will receive a grand prize.

1st place wins-

2nd place wins-

3rd place wins-