Listening to:Falling down-Chris Brown
Reading: The Female Man
Watching: Some childhood videos of my babe
Playing: with myself
Eating:pussy
Drinking: luke warm recycled water

I told her hand over the meds. I need to save my sanity. I've come to a realization that I have a lot of "mommy-issues". I am so much more like my mother than I've ever wanted to be. It's hard for me to understand what happened when I was younger. You don't think that those influences from your parents really impact you as much as they do. All of my destructive habits came from her. My eating habits. My outlook on life. My constant nagging-bickering-annoying-I-hate-the-world-blame-someone-else mentality. I know that I'm not always this ball of frustrated energy just crying and hating life. There is so much good in it. I do love life, generally speaking. Loving life is like loving anything else. There will be bad days. I have a lot of difficult tasks ahead of me in my life. First is learning how to take care of myself. It seems like the simplest of things to do. When to eat. When to sleep. When to go out. When to indulge. I need to start moving forwards.

8:00 AM Eat now
12:00 PM Eat now
6:00 PM Eat now
10:30 PM Take meds
11:00 PM Sleep soon