my big fat sob story

I hate making my life into a sob story that people can pick apart and judge me based on the awful things that happened to me and the awful things I made happen to me. I've been contemplating doing this video for awhile thinking of ways on how I'm going to do this without giving my life story away for exposure. I can defiantly twist my life into a giant terrible sob story to make people feel sad for me and whatnot. Help me with things that I need because I don't have anyone to help me. But where do I start? Where I begin to tell a story that's as broken and damaged as mine? What parts do I share with the world?

I've lived a privileged life. I know this. I was privileged enough to have food on my plate every night and a roof over my head. But so many things happened in between the time of now and then that the food and the roof seem pointless.

Do I tell everyone about all the drugs I used to do?
My addiction to inhalants? My addiction to cocaine?
Do I tell everyone about all the alcohol?
Do I tell everyone about the rapes?
Do I tell everyone about my mother?
Do I tell everyone about the verbal, physical and emotional abuse?
Do I tell the world about the times I ran away?
Do I tell the world about the fact that I was locked away in a room for years?
How eventually the voice of my mother got so repetitive that it got loud in my head and I didn't need her to physically be there to control me, that I started locking the door on my own?
Do I tell the world about the shit my mom used to tell me about my sexuality, about myself?
Do I tell the world I've been homeless numerous times?
That I'm currently homeless, looking for somewhere to sleep every night going to bed worried that someone will come in and tell me to get up and leave, but then wonder where I'm supposed to go?
Do I tell the world about the abuse in my relationships?
How my last girlfriend was an alcoholic, emotionally abusing me on a daily,
that eventually it got so bad she put her hands on me and she left bruises but I still thought that she loved me and took her back every time?
How the time before that was the same?
That all my ex girlfriends were slowly showing myself how to kill myself with drugs and alcohol?

Which parts do I tell?
I don't want to be judged by the world. The world doesn't know me. My life feels like an embarrassment. I had so much opportunity and now it feels like it's slipping from me each year that goes by. Without school, I started feeling lost. And now with school being so close, just within reach, I'm scared to hold it because it could leave me as easily as it comes back. I don't have the money for school. I don't have $51,322 for a year of school. I don't have anyone who can co-sign a loan for me. I feel so lost I'm spinning.

So which parts do I tell?

How will I put my sob story together for someone to notice that I can shine if I'm only given a little help.