Some notes on "Term Queer" video

I identify as a lesbian.

But I also identify as queer.

Queer is an umbrella term for all sexualities that don't fit the norm. Queer can also be used as an umbrella term for gender.

The norm in society is heterosexual. A man must be with a woman. Black and white. No room for grey areas. However, it is very obvious that our community is not binary. There are many different types of people and not everyone fits into the gender roles. Queer was a derogatory term not too long ago to call someone a freak or strange or unwanted. Recently, the gay community has begun to take back this word for their empowerment.

Why do I like the term queer?
I am open to the possibility of love. I am very attracted to women, sexually and emotionally. I've had many serious relationships with women and I see myself sharing my life with a woman. I date women. However, I have been attracted to men before. I have attraction to men sometimes. For me, my attraction towards men is very limited. It takes a certain type of man to get my guard down and allow me to open up. Sometimes the attraction is purely "I think he is cute." or "He's such a pretty boy." but the attraction for me, often goes away relatively quickly. Men don't keep my attention. I am not attracted sexually to men. I find myself very awkward and forced when I'm put into a sexual situation with a dude.

I don't find just any dick attractive. I have a lot of unresolved issues with dick because of my inexperience being around men. I tend to gravitate towards women because they are safer. I was sexually abused by a few men in my past and have learned to associate a lot of danger with men. I am NOT a man-hater. I do have male friends. But like I said it takes a lot for me to let my guard down and open up.

Because of the way men were raised in this society (with their gender role attached) I find it very hard to stay attracted to a man. However, not all men are the same and there would be a possibility that one man could get through all those walls that I have built. Although the possibility for me is very very small, it is still a possibility and I cannot completely disregard it. I identify with the term lesbian more because I am more attracted to women and I date women but also, the stereotype of this term does not define my sexuality perfectly.

With all of this said, I have to admit a few things. My girlfriend and I role play. Sometimes I have a penis, sometimes she has a penis. Through all of this role play I never think about being with men or a particular man or wish she was a man. I think about her and her dick. I enjoy arousing her through this fantasy that we create. The dick (usually our strap) becomes an extension of me/her when we have sex. This is why the term queer for me makes sense.